Complex Trauma- Why some of us are Repulsed by 'Live, Love, Laugh" Quotes

Maybe the design of a "live, love, laugh" quote is objectively horrendous... or maybe it's a subjectively experienced complex trauma response.

For me, it was the latter.

When I used to see "live, love, laugh" home decor, I used to get the ick... like majorly. Not in a traditional trauma response way, but rather like an 'eww I'm feeling semi repulsed by this' kind of way.

The problem is, positive quotes, encouragers, and mottos like these are everywhere. Businesses' decor, home decor stores, your coworker's office, a friend's house, and in most colorful corners of social and the internet.

This is what I less consciously decided to do about it:

- either just...

a). Avoid (as best I could) these forms of 'positive vibes.'

or

b). Use self-deprecating humor to defuse the sense of discomfort I often worried that others could smell on me, when coming across them in public.

"Live, love, laugh" quotes triggered a sense of loneliness in their invalidation of my life experiences, while seeming to trigger validation, joy, and encouragement for those around me.

But it was even more complicated than that, because not only did I know that I was in the minority of people who felt this way towards them, but also because my ways of dealing with them did nothing to address the subconscious longing I had for even just a taste of this free-feeling sense of living in the moment(s).

The more I felt myself envying this concept, the more I tried to convince myself that I absolutely didn't even want it... out of fear that it would never be accessible to me, because I was just too broken.

Fast forward to today- Hi, Yeah. I't me. Carolyn Lee Downes- a grown up trauma therapy client, turned trauma therapist and attachment coach.

What I learned and am continuing to learn, is that behind whatever complex emotions or conflicted responses we have, there's bound to be some sort of complex trauma leftover details or multiple conflicting self/situation beliefs that are getting triggered by something in the present, baring resemblance to situations with unresolved distress from the past.

https://www.instagram.com/p/DBXXyLysC3N/?igsh=c2RsemJreHp2Mmcz

The thing is, if a combo of complex emotions doesn't really bother you enough to seek help for it, don't.

We all experience situations that confuse us either because logic and emotion don't add up, what we want to feel and actually feel don't, or when our body's physiology reacts to certain things our mind's are like 'wtf' to.

But if some theme of experiences keep popping up (maybe like mine with love, laugh, love stuff), making you feel unsettled about your life experience and/or your ability to open up to others about it, look into seeking professional help.

Because it's 2024 guys. Trauma is more than any specific event, unhealthy partnership, or crappy quality of childhood.

Trauma is the recurrence of uncomfortable memory details (somatic, info based, or otherwise) showing up in certain themes of our lives, not necessarily as we may have originally experienced them, but as our minds stored them for making sense of and guiding our future life interactions (for better or worse).

Xoxo,

Carolyn